I decided to post my Ode on Tu B'Av (Guard coined that name) here in the beis. As many of you already know, I originally posted it in my thread as a tribute to my six months of sobriety. But I figured we would benefit from it as a separate thread. Each line corresponds to another aspect of tu b'av. If you need perush, please ask.
As I look into the grave to see if I am dead and then notice that I am still alive, I look up to heavens with joy and yell, “there is life! There is Hope! There is a future!”
As I finish burying my addiction, I pause to thank Hashem for not allowing my dark past from spoiling my life. I thank him, as well, for assisting me in finally burying my past, as I rid myself of this addiction.
As I I dance at the chasunah of a Benjemanite man and a daughter from another shevet, I realize that the past is gone and we are embarking on a new era. The days of Sinah are behind us, and the days of Ahavah and Achvah are ahead of us. I then turn inwards and contemplate that the yetzer hara has weak powers today because when there is achdus, there is no yetzer hara.
As I continue to divert my eyes from all immodest material and strengthen myself day by day in the areas of kedusha, I look at my wife, contemplate true spiritual beauty and sigh with relief “Sheker hachein V’Hevel Hoyefei, etc…” I turn inwards and realize that all peace in the world emanates from true and perfected shalom bayis. This is the secret to our ultimate victory.
As I walk through the streets with big heavy wooden ladders, I tell the enemy (the yetzer hara) not to worry; “these ladders are situated on the ground ( they are for gashmiyus)”. I then laugh in my heart, because I tricked the yetzer hara, for he does not know, “these ladders can reach the heaven”. These ladders are for my mizbayach.
As I finish collecting all my firewood, I bring it close to my heart and declare “B’lvavi Mishkan Evne, in my heart I build a mishkan”.
As I sit lonely in my living room, waiting for my Beloved One to return, I suddenly hear a knock at the door and hear, “Kol Dodi Dofek” (It is my loved one knocking). Ellul is approaching.
As I stand trembling in awe, His holy messenger declares with a sign of great happiness, “Today we are building the Beis Hamikdash”. The day of Happiness, is the day of the rebuilding of the Beis Hamikdash. My heart skips a beat. Am I dreaming?
I then turn to my Creator in a moment of true dedication and state: “I am all yours. I hereby sacrifice my entire life to you.”
What greater joy can there be.
