new guy starting out/ bain hazimanim is my hard point

[Holy Yid]

I am a Bachor in Yeshiva. Generaly during the Zeman I don't have access to unsupervised internet and so I do not run into problems (the times that I have had access I did have problems). When I'm home I'm a mess. I am home for at least part of the summer. I have been clean for a week. I do not feel comfortable asking my parents to get a filter. So I am asking for guidelines regarding internet use.

  I want to stay off entierly but I need this site and there are things my parents ask me to checkup. I don't trust my judement on making rules because in the past I have 'made excuses' and done more and more and then BOOM.

I am thinking about only request and only this site with my email up to switch to if somone walks by.

Please give me some feedback and ideas.

This site in little amount of time I've been on it has helped me tons.

[bardichev]

holiest of holy

if you had the mildest allergy or a small ailment wouldnt your parents go far and wide to help you

you need not to tell your parents about your addiction

just say you need the moral boost!!

they will rspect you

hatzlacha
bardichev

[Noorah BAmram]

Shalom alichem holy bochur,
I would try by saying that a filter is a halacha by all rabonim u may even blame it on your rosh yeshiva, say that he said that is "yichud" to be with unfiltered internet.
"He how comes to purify himself ......" There is no shadow of doubt if you say it in a respectful way, your parents will commend you and install one!

Btw it is more important a filter on the internet then a filter for water in nyc vday lchakima

The main thing is that it should be a no nonsense filter or better yet filtered at the isp levevl. See the Guards filter page

Best of luck the Almighty will be with u! U r in our prayers keep strong and keep us posted

With fiery love and respect to a bochur who seeks holiness and sanity

Noorah

[guardureyes]

Dear Holy Bochur,

Please read the responses on this recent thread: http://rehab-my-site.com/guardureyes/forum/index.php?topic=664.0

All the replies apply to your situation exactly as well!

See also this page of our FAQ: http://www.guardureyes.com/GUE/FAQ/FAQ2.asp

And please read the GYE handbook, Tool #3 - the part called "Bein Hazmanim"

[nezach]

Welcome! It is amazing that you have the awareness and understanding of your weaknesses as well as the courage to receive help from this forum!

Clearly you are motivated and know what is best for you. However, it is essential that you have boundaries and are strict with yourself - and this needs to be done each time, and before, you use the computer.

It goes without saying that the computer is one way of being victimised to the problems that are so readily available, due to the ease of access. Hence the power of the yetzer hara.

So my suggestion (and I am working on doing this myself) is to be clear as to what we want, and simply what is not permissible or harmful to us, before and during any computer use!

Any time you feel weak, or even if temptation starts to show, get yourself off the computer and daven will might and power. The more you (and us all) practice this the better and stronger we would become.

Hazlacha Raba! Be strong and honest with yourself each day.

[Holy Yid]

Thank you all for your comments and chizuk. I am going to make a list of web site I can visit. Any site I think I should add I will post here and describe it's content. As I approached coming home I had a madding struggle with myself about my problematic behavior on the internet. I now know I should not struggle but accept it and talk about it here.

I also will not use the internet unless someone else is on the same floor as me.
I will go here first, unless I have a compelling reason not to.

I could write more but I think I would be going back to my old ways of promising myself not to do hundreds of things and end up with nothing.

[Holy Yid]

I am on day nine! This is B"H wonderful.

Since I started posting here I feel a raw pain inside me. One that is almost numbing. I am having a hard time focusing on other things. But it also feels very good. I feel cleaner and feel that I have hope with my behavior on the internet. i am concision that I have a problem am am much more aware of avoiding things that drag me down.

[bardichev]

TRY COVENANT EYES AND FORWARD YOUR REPORT TO THE HEILIGER GUARD
b

[Kedusha]

Dear Holy Yid,

In his Shabbos Shuva Drasha last year, my Rav requested that every member of the Shul install an Internet filter.  I immediately realized that his request was the opportunity of a lifetime.  I told my wife of the Rav's request, that I plan to comply, and requested her help with the password.  My wife has the password to the Internet filter, and should the password be lost, it gets sent to her e-mail address, to which I have no access.

The filter allows most legitimate sites, but sometimes it blocks them.  When it's convenient, I have my wife enter the password, I unblock those sites, and close the filter program immediately.  Sometimes a relative will e-mail me a link that I can't access due to the filter.  I have no problem letting them know that I cannot access the link due to my Internet filter - I am proud to share that fact, and hope that I will inspire someone (regardless of their age or marital status) who has unfiltered Internet to reconsider.  Those without a filter should be the ones to feel awkward.

Noorah's point is very well-taken.  Having an Internet filter is probably the most important thing you can do for both your spirituality and for your emotional equilibrium.

[Efshar Letaken]

Reb Holy of Holy,

This is the typical feeling we all feel after we let go.

We call it "Withdrawal Symptoms",

They will pass & you will feel so much closer to Hashem & so much Happier as well.

I heard the other day a Shmuzz that the Derech Hashem is to make us feel far from Hashem when we take a step closer just like we train a child to walk we keep on backing up the closer he gets to us so that he learns to take even more steps.

And when we fall, and we always do (a fall is Not necessarily in SA it can just be in anything in Avodas Hashem that we are not doing as well as we normally do or should do) thats when we feel Hashem picking us up & giving us this big hug, like a parent does to the child that falls after taking the extra steps.

And Hashem keeps on doing this all through our life time in so many other ways, like struggles in Gashmius - Health, Financial, Kids & everything else to strengthen our Emuna & in Ruchnius the Fights & Struggles against the Y'H so that we can grow into Giants.

I Bless You All With Shabbos
E.L.

[Holy Yid]

I was planning to stay off the internet until Sunday afternoon but I felt an urge to sin so i'm coming here and writing about it. The thought that I will hate myself afterwards did not hold me back but the thought that I would have to start my count on the wall of honor over again did hold me back. I felt that if so many other people are doing it I can also.

My problem started when I did not make sure to be productive over shabbos so I was bored and wandering after shabbos.

[Noorah BAmram]

I relate to the last post re boredom.  For me boredom is one of the biggest "triggers". Especially on Sundays!!
Sometimes I make a to do  list for myself of things that need to be done that I have procrastinated.
Busy!! Busy!! Busy!!!! Busy!!!

Or maybe I will just do  something that will give me kosher pleasure such as going out and buying the newest Avraham Fried cd, which BTW it is absolutely fantastic, some of the songs are written for the  GYE site -

You are in my prayers -
Remember its  the battle that makes us  great, don't sell yourself short buddy;).

With love and respect

Noora the smallest of the house of Amram

[bardichev]

sunday is ALWAYS the hardest day

ifmenuval ekel cockroach melech zaken uksil YH
gets you on sunday the rest of the

IS IN THE BAG

SAD

HALT SHTARRRRRRKKKKK!!!!

b

[Holy Yid]

I got a good book that I have an interset in reading and it is hunderds of pages long.

I had another run in with teptation today. I was in the history sections of my email account and I saw the records of my sins that I had not yet erased. I did erase what I saw but I was very afraid. I am reminding myself that after the first slip it's just downhill from there. I will not be able to stop and my whole day will become focused on the internet and it's garbage. When I am strong and have begon a streak of being clean it is much easier to continue and stay clean. right now I've been clean for over a week and I see that it has become easier to stay clean and stay away from things that I don't want to do and that reek havoc in my life.

[Kedusha]

You're 100% correct - falling can be a slippery slope that you don't want to slide down.

Chazak v'Ematz!