I am new to the site, and my story is as follows (in brief).
Growing up, I was lead to believe that masturbation was a normal thing. From age 13 i started doing this, not so regularly, and gradually starting associating this with lustfull images, introduced by some of my friends, and then unfortunately from exposure to TV and the internet. During university this became worse, until a point where I couldn't seem to stop. It was a kind of escape, and I have become aware in the last year, that one of the main reasons why I act out is due to stress.
I was always brought up traditional, and I became fully religious around 6 years ago, and so my behaviour became a huge problem. I became very depressed every time I did slip, because I knew this was an aveirah. Due to my familly situation, which i wont go into all the details, I actually had to go through an Orthodox conversion a few years ago to make my Jewish status fully halachic. I was a sincere convert, and I live a full shomer mitzvot lifestyle, in which I place a great deal of importance on torah learning. I was so determined to break away from this behaviour, that I managed to be completely sober for 6 months at the time of my conversion. Unfortunately I did slip, and failed considerably for some time, having good periods and bad periods, but I really wanted to keep to a sin free path. I have come to the realisation that this does not invalidate the sincerity of my conversion, because even the greatest Tzadikim have sinned, but it motivates me even more to become fully sober.
I thought that marriage would put an end to this problem, but after just a few months, I slipped again. My wife is aware of my problems, and is trying to support me. I managed to stay sober for 36 days before last slipping. I have now blocked the worst sites I used using our router, that only my wife has the password for. I also have Covenant Eyes installed, so that my wife can keep me accountable. I snapped a DVD in two the other day and wiped my PC clean of all innappropriate files. I have now reached 5 clean days, and I would like this count to keep increasing.
With Hashem's help, I can protect myself from these temptations. I will use this board to report back on my successes. I promise to be honest.
All I can say is, I wish this site had existed a few years ago. I had a similar idea, but am glad someone else has set this for all to benefit from. May your site be blessed to help bring kedushah into the lives of all those who seek your help.
