it is very very hard. and it feels as though the world has been lifted off your shoulders when you think you've snapped out of it. but it comes back and bites very suddenly and very hard. messes up your thinking. "i know its not right, but this is how it is", "it's the only thing that could be the answer, but am i willing to accept it?", "it could not possibly be the answer because why would HASHEM do this to me if i was not allowed to enjoy it", "forget Hashem, just use it to my advantage" "Hashem hates me" the conclusion is "I hate Him back" and then its definitely not a satisfying argument with yourself and it never ends. I dont think someone who has never gone through it could possibly understand.
