By Thomas Boswell
Washington Post Staff Writer
Tuesday, March 23, 2010; D01
Everybody, not just the famous, has both a public and a private face. Those two versions of ourselves are never completely reconciled, nor would most of us want them to be. Our interior life, our soul, our truest sense of ourselves, whatever you call it, is too difficult and changing a thing to summarize easily or share widely.
But when the gap between the public face and the private self becomes a vast gulf, people go into crisis. The split inside you …

I feel that the time is overdue for me to write my story to someone and try to get as much help as possible. 
 
First, I should emphasize that I did not grow up in a religious house or part of a religious community at all. I have only recently become a Baal Teshuva.
 
I was introduced to pornography magazines at a young age, perhaps 10. I had a friend who had movie channels that showed smut late at night and we would watch together when I would sleep over. When people …

I would like to share with you my very sad story, so that you, Rabbis and the Jewish community  in general will be able to learn from it. I am what the public calls a truly “Choshuva” “Avreych”, and with all due “modesty” I view myself as such as well. Nevertheless I fell terribly by viewing (and even worse…) from the worst sites available on the sticky web trap – The Internet – the Satan’s pitfall net! Am I truly Charaydi, or even Dati ? Where is my “Da’at” ?! …

I guess it’s time for me to relate my story.  Some background info will give some context to my story.  I am a convert to Judaism of several years now.  I was raised nominally xtian and did an extended stint in evangelical type xtianity from college into my 30’s.  How I ended up converting I won’t share here as it my reveal my identity.
I have been struggling with masturbation and intermittant porn usage for nearly 30 years.  When I was around 13, someone shared some porn magazines with me.  I …